i skinned my knee.

i told myself whether its better to be a commander or men in the service.
god; i swear i knew i made the correct choice.

but look at where i am now. im suffering.
i work 7 days straight. like wth. i know this isnt going to work well for me.

why? because everyone work the same thing regardless of rank. wtf.
no one there respect my rank. EH! I WENT THROUGH HELL OKAY!

sigh. i got no one to talk to. im such a loser.

i thought i could be treated with respect because of my rank.
not say i wanna show off or whatever can, who am i to be compared with officers.
tho i did get my chance. boooo@afizzul lor.

i worked hard for my rank leh. ccb! :(

i feel like breaking down.
honestly.
and its not even the first mth into my job.
sigh.

MY WEEKENDS ARE BURNED.
i dont wanna to stray away from my family nor my friends.
GIVE IT BACK TO ME.

i think they are plain dumb!
how can working on sat and sun just claim for an off on tuesday!
i rather work my ass off on tuesday to get my weekends lor.
retards.

Labels: work work work my ass off.

i know i know.
i met up with my section mates again yesterday.

thank god my buddy picked me up at my camp.
his gf was there with him and im glad me and his gf get along well with each other, no awkwardness. she is a funy girl for sure.
we had sakae and john PS us! and wei jie was late.

mr tweety bird was as the same. honestly i think he gained HEIGHT. lol.

after that had drinks and off for home because
today working! sigh.

met up with louis boy too.
aww.. my dear boy. i wished i could take away the pain.
and let you be care-free. please take care ok.

Labels: work still sucks.

confused. lost. alone.

those were the feeling im having. work has been pretty terrible.
im so scared im not up to anybody's expectations.

i noticed that i always want to get a good impression of myself.
the setback is bad.

honestly. i suck. not literally tho. knn!
im so sensitive. how ah!

i wanna just go off to the next paradise.
i wanna forget everything about you.

i dont want your first kiss.
bye.

Labels: work sucks.

haha. me and buddy were like so late to meet up with my section mates.
thought driving could be so much faster. =D
were late for like nearly an hour, the rest had ordered and ate.

SO SORRY!

chatted and crapped till 4 plus, before leaving swensons.
and we headed to geylang for DURIANS.

fun stuff. anyways, pics on facebook la.
and went to kallang leisure park after that.
wanted to bowl, but the waiting list was there and we needed to wait for an hr.
sigh. in the end we forgo and headed for dinner at selegie road.
honestly, the chicken rice rocks!

after that buddy drove abner home and send me home right after that.
=D

fun day today; tmr work my ass off with i think 10km run in the morning.
sigh.

i need to hug someone or rather someone hugging me too.
will you be the one? i doubt so.

Labels: sextion mates.

oh. off to meet my ~~sextion~~ section mates in town.
my buddy is driving. and im hitching that ride.

pick me up now pls.
im hungry! =D

what to eat!
what to eat!
=D

oh louis boy, im always there for you.
and take me as a social ladder.
because the consequences is dire.

Labels: SPEC 2 GATHERING.

yesterday marks the end of my partay life.
no more.
no more.
no more.

i find it degrading.
i wanna exit the scene.

have a better life.

so yeah, this would be a major change i suppose.
but what to do.
i dont want to have anything to remember about people there.
people i actually made out with.

its so superficial for me.
i wanna packup and leave.

if you wanna catch me,
run.

oh ya, you can really stand there and wave,
because at that moment,
i cant be bothered alr.

a person lost isnt really the other's person gain.

i'll start walking away now.
and you, take care care.
because you might be the one im gonna avoid.

Labels: well said.

what is it about clubbing that makes the other feel insecure?

alcohol?
making out?

i dont know.
but for sure, i dont like that feeling.

Labels: clubbing.

how could everything derive to sex?
how could sex equal to my love to you?

and i always tell myself, how could i bring myself to have sex with my ex.

those were the times where i subdue myself.

if you ask me again. i would gladly do it everyday with you.
but whats the point right?

you'll nvr find this blog again.

Labels: you know i want you.

things will never be the same again i suppose.
because afizzul slept the whole of friday!

tho' he left work at 3pm.
bed was the best reward for me.

=D

Labels: my bed seems to be the best part.

i dedicate this post to my dear "best"friend of mine; mr louis lye.

i suppose we didnt really end on a good note.
we went though so much.

i've known you since sec3.
i still remember how we actually became friends.
you called me after school; you told me you needed help in chemistry.
and i just asked whether you got the right number because
we were hi-bye friend back in school.

and yet, we did meet up and went to harbourfront to study at the macs.
and i forgot why we went there to study too.
oh boy! i did rmb that my blood were boiling while teaching you.

but little did i know thats the start of a friendship that i cherished alot.

you open up to me.
and so did i.

we went through so many obstacles in life
and that does include us walking from newton back to upper bukit timah.
why? because we ate at newton and missed the last bus.
and walked home, why? because we got no money to get us back!

when we argued, it took us like 4mths to cool off our heads. or maybe more.
and yes, i agree you are always great.
always better than me in sports and studies.
and we always compare.

you changed a lil when A entered your life.
you lied to me.
again and again.

i kept quiet tho i knew the truth.
but its because i still thought you would tell me the truth one day.
but you didnt.

i remembered those days back in sec sch.
we went to sch together.
doing everything together.
staying over at your place! (my first stayover!)
studying our asses off for O's.
you thought me maths!
and i thought you chem and physics!
THOSE WERE THE DAYS MAN!

we went through relationship problems.
coming over my house crying.
i did whatever i can as a friend.

and you know, im always there for you.

yet.

im disappointed when i got wasted.
you neglect me.
you told addy that i forgot all about you.
because i have new friends.

but you neglect me because of E.
all the way.
because E hates me.
and i gave in.
why? because i wanted you to be happy.
little thoughts you have for me.

whatever it is louis, you are cherished by me.
thanks for all the fun times together!

happy 22nd birthday. (:
we shall catch up on life.
because i miss you.

Labels: louis lye yong seng.

deon; i miss you so much.

Labels: deon.

the difference in life seems little now.
but when i look away, everything behind changed.

anyways, fuck those comments.
comments not entertained and taken out.

i saw you.
my heart raced.

what the hell was i thinking.
you're too sexy for my love.

even tho i told you sex with you was lousy.
and i wanted to take those words back.
how pathetic am i now.

and yet, you sit back and slowly revenging on me;
my heart ached when i saw you.

Labels: s_x