Accidentally On Purpose.
Monday, April 30, 2007
friday,
joel woke me up.
late for sch.
i was practically slacking the whole day.
doing research.
collecting of components for my project.
the whole day i was msging joel.
fun fun fun.
he was at camp.
msging him from morning, all the way till i end sch.
talked on the phone with him for 7hrs straight.
(: darn lame i tell you.
the funniest part is that when i video-call him.
laughed. (:
amazingly, we lasted on the phone for 7hrs.
and just talking cock and everything.
ended at 2 plus in the morning.

saturday,
at home.
i dont even got the feeling of clubbing.
talked to joel at night.
joel, friends are important in life.
(:
think about it.

sunday,
things got abit of complicated.
looks like im in the picture.
kinda like a third party.
i feel bad.
i feel real bad.
hope things get well soon.

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Friday, April 27, 2007
today was kinda lame.
i woke up at 6.45am
then off to sch ard 7.30am
woke joel up instead.
LOL. he nvr wake me up!
nvm nvm.
and as usual, either 190 or 975.
but the best part was that, at my bus-stop,
its already traffic jam!
fuck! and the bus came, 975.
and inside the bus, it was raining!
droplets of water dripping everywhere la.
FUCK!
i was wet and was even wetter after that.
NABEI!
haha. nvm. was msging joanna and joel.
late for sch la.
morning always liddat la.
i can wake up at 5am.
haha. but it seem its for nth.
msg joel till i reach sch.
haha. and to me, you are still lousy!
muahahahh. *evils!
rain doesnt mean can be late!
you also late!
and traffic jam not my problem lo.

haiz.
seeing you online makes me wanna talk like always.
BUT.
scared.

now in one of the project classroom.
lunch break.
nvr go for lunch coz went for breakfast already.
later having lesson again.
EZ-PIC.
kinda fun. LOL.
laughing in class and everything.
played DOTA to pass time.

yesterday,
had meeting in sch.
we completed 3 proposals.
*claps to my comm ppl. (:
and i had to rush home because both of my brothers forgot to bring their keys!
pathetic.
quarrelled with my mum.
she just dont know how busy i am.
hack la.
talked to joel.
but if i nvr end the convo.
he will go work like a zombie again.
and i dont wanna feel guilty.

i want to hear YOUR voice so badly.
listen to your whines.
listen to your laughers.
listen to your nags.
:(

back to sch ppl.
lecturer calling.
sad-ed.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Your Kisses Are Spicy and Wild
Your kisses are powerful stuff. They'll start a fire in almost anyone you kiss.You kiss with passion, skill, and endurance. Anyone who kisses you is in for a long, intense ride.You better watch out though. Your incredible kisses are likely to get you in trouble!


You're a Romantic Kisser

For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance
You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea
The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood
It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet

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mundane life ahead.
sch was alright on monday.
haha. thanks to joel eh.
been smsing him quite alot lately.
its just laughters all the way.
squash trainings has been changed to
monday and wednesday.
how nice.
now i cant go for the wednesday training because of
my commitment to my telecom club.
practical on monday was hilarious.
most of the time we were watching tv and laughing.
channel 8 was showing the "legends of the eight immortal"
the show was shown when i was in sec1 lo.
training was packed.
i trained alone at 4pm.
then had a hardcore session with coach.
seems like my stamina is gone.
off to see my kids at the tuition center.
off i went to my cousin's hse after that.
then off for home.
haha. chatted with joel till siao.
laugh and laugh.
then he wanted to bathe.
i went to eat.
after that called him again.
haha.
like what i always say.
never assume when nobody can confirm.
LOL.
joker sia. (:
*influence is a big picture.

today. woke up at 7.30am.
woke that joel up because we chatted for 2hours yesterday.
and the day before yesterday, he was already tired.
and im feeling guilty that he is a walking zombie at work.
i was at home the whole day.
played DOTA.
"training" to beat that yandao kia, Hoe Yong.
haha.
daven! must help me!
tuesday has been pretty boring!
next tuesday, im off for a rocking good time at SENTOSA.
and of course with my secondary sch mates!
(: *smiles!
tmr will be a boring day.
the whole day Bio-Engineering Instrument Module the whole day.
after that is my club meeting.
im thinking that i slacked too much.
and my brains are starting to rot.
*laughs @ myself.

i want that ZARA boxers! *roars!

p/s: happy birthday AMEER.

Monday, April 23, 2007
pride always get into the way.
i think we hurt each other too much.
too much misunderstandings.
i need to be strong infront of you because i have pride.
like i say, its my deadly sin. :(
my existence still matter to you.
as it does to me.


joel, be thankful i woke you up!
(:

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Sunday, April 22, 2007
18 April 2007
sch was super boring i tell you.
lesson was sucky.
lol. and was still not in the mood for anything.
went to vivo.
and i saw this zara boxers.
i liked it alot. ALOT!
ate at some restaurant.
and of we went to sentosa.
watched the song of the sea.
not bad. better than the musical fountain.
how i wished you were beside me.
but it was just a wishful thinking on my side.
took alot of photos.
was msging joel all the way.
reached home and talked to joel for a straight 3.5hrs.
talked till 3am?
woots! power!
thanks bro! i feel better. (:
but its not easy for me to let go.
i know you understand what im going through.
(:

19 April 2007
joel! thanks for waking me up in the morning!
appreciated it.
although i was kinda late.
but you woke me up!!
both of us were like walking zombie.
im in sch while he is at work.
was smsing each other.
ahha. i shldnt have slept.
make me more tired only.
i've not slept for a day already.
sch ended in 30mins!
wtf!
went to the board games area and played with
hazmi, joanna, daven. (:
laughed. laughed.
off to home after that.
changed.
squashed.
and off to see my kids at the tuition center.
lol. (:
they bring laughters to me.
it kinda reminded me of myself when i was with you.
child-like behavior.

20 April 2007
today i woke joel up instead. (:
haha. sch has been pretty boring.
was thinking about the project we need to do.
need to install so many stuff.
i was tired.
i get frustrated easily.
i miss ....
went to ktv.
celebrate plex's birthday.
sang two songs.
off for home.
thinking about you.

21 April 2007
haha. slept the whole day till 6pm.
sorry joel. replied your sms late eh.
off to jaymie's bdae celebration.
laughters all the way.
envy those couples.
but i had the fun of bullying them.
met up with vanessa after 8mths of not seeing each other since we broke up.
talked. and sent her home. (:
haha. ask you come with me to the chalet, you dont want.
we shall pool tgt ok? (:
and of course BEN&JERRY. (:

Wednesday, April 18, 2007
just got back home.
time flew when you are in sch.
showed my junior ard.
squash booth-ing was hilarous.
ppl might have already known that
i dont have sch on tuesday.
and they find me stupid to come back to sch.
come to think of it,
i cant stay at home ALONE.
i'll think too much. SERIOUSLY.
so to keep myself occupied, went to help out instead.
now i can catch up with my juniors who i lost contact
with for two years.

squash was alright.
went for campus run and we talked about the spiritual world.
i swear i thought of YOU.
i seriously dont want to lose you.

joel ang woke me up at 5am.
thanks huh bro!
lol. i was suppose to disturb you and not the other way round!

there's sch tmr.
so i gotta have my rest.
exhausted from training.
project day coming soon.
events coming proposals needed.

wo xiang ni.

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007
first day of sch was kinda lame.
daven woke me up too early.
yet it reminded me of those times.
waking up at 5am just to wake you up.
i just laughed at myself.
who am i? lol.
i was super late for parading for my squash booth.
im so sorry jasmine.
we will do it tmr!
we are so going to have fun.
time to bully the freshies.
haha. *evils!

oh ya, thanks to joel ang la.
called me.
lock your keypad can!

just now on msn.
was talking to him.
bathe also must quarrel.
lousy!
noob kia.
oh ya, i call him, joel the noobist. (:

eh. i thought of it myself.
btw, thanks to my friends.
haha.
i can tell you ppl.
im having fun though the hurt im feeling.
HEH.

come to think of it,
what hoe yong told me that day,
was kinda true.
thanks bro!

yaya. hoe yong, you very handsome la.
im attracted to you la.
hahha.

eh. think that joel came out le.
i told him to wank!
abit lame.
but who cares.
this is life.

cant wait for squash tmr.
no sch tmr.
i decided to disturb joel.
muahahahhaha.
*evils!

ohoh.
i miss amily!
time to catch up soon gurl!

cheers!

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Monday, April 16, 2007
yesterday, meet up with retards association after
dont-know-how-many-donkey-months.
felt so sorry for clifton.
lol. changing bus and everything.
sorry to alex for making him book his condo's
squash courts.
brother! we dont even know where u stay.
hahhaa.
thanks to jerome who booked the courts for us at cashew heights.
played till ard 5plus.
and off we went to sakura at BPP.
laughed our ass off.
IQ games are darn fun.

reached home and slept.
my stomach growling and had gastric.
god. i didnt eat well this few days.
but i didnt wanna wake up.
in the end, i woke up ard 1am with fever.
i cant sleep.
watched heroes.

sch gonna start tmr.
wish me luck in making new friends.
haiz.
i wished i was in daven's&joanna's class.
roar! daven would have known why.

you know what,
i cant seem to remember the last time we kissed
because i nvr thought it would be our last.

i still feel like im a loser.

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Saturday, April 14, 2007
was in sch for FOP.
it was kinda sucky and everything.
met grace.
out with my juniors.
slacked and catched up.
home.
slept.

im such a bitch.
i think im very selfish.
now im down-ass regretted it.
im asking for a chance.
may i have it?

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Friday, April 13, 2007
i really would like to thank you.
thanks for asking me out for coffee.
yaya. its me accompany you.
not you accompany me.
thanks for the treat too. (:
and you are not an outsider.
pardon my english.
thanks for the understanding and enlightening me. LOL.
hahaha.
had so much laughters.
but you do know that beyond the laughters,
in me it still hurts.
takes time.

past wheelock place,
i was down.

school's starting.
i try to cope.
seriously.

i looked on my birthday picture taken at fish and co.
i looked super happy.
i got what i wanted for my birthday.

its done.
im stupid.

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007
i looked at myself in the mirror.
i looked shagged.
i still looked troubled.
i still feel sick inside.
told myself.
one step at a time.
but i kept falling everytime i walk.
my friends are cheering on me.
i got other responsibilty.
the scar in my heart is big.
it will heal soon.
it takes time.
it really hurts.

the lights are off.
im in my room.
alone.
cold.
i feel empty.

thanks to all.

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007
im having a rough time.
but come to think of it.
i did want you to sacrifice me.
i dont want to be a burden.
guess it came true after all.

if you loved me, you wouldnt have tested me.
doubting my love and then find a problem,
pack and leave.

i tried so hard.
i tried to understand.

just like what i've all along suspected.

you take it away forcefully.

nvr slept the whole night yesterday.
tired.

had a good night rest.
without waking up at 5am.
since you told me you found someone better to just piss me off.
then let it be.

anyways, afizzul is dead.

but he will return.
not yet.
but soon.

all he knows that you will nvr be replaced.
just like he promised.

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Monday, April 9, 2007
i've lost.
i feel empty.
is this what i wanted?
im sucha loser.
im plain stupid.
just fuck off, afizzul.
afizzul is retarded.
afizzul is dead.

whatever smile im giving,
its fake.

oh ya. deon, thanks for everything.

65days gone.

be without you.

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Be Without You
I wanna be with you,
gotta be with you,
need to be with you(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

I wanna be with you,
gotta be with you,
need to be with you(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
Oooo (oh, oh, oh, oh) oooo

Chemistry was crazy from the get-go
Neither one of us knew why
We didn't build nothing overnight
Cuz a love like this takes some time
People swore it off as a phase
Said we can't see that
Now from top to bottom
They see that we did that (yes)
It's so true that (yes)
We've been through it (yes)
We got real sh** (yes)

See baby we been...Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

I got a question for ya
See I already know the answer
But still I wanna ask you
Would you lie? (no)
Make me cry? (no)
Do somethin' behind my back and then try to cover it up?

Well, neither would I, baby
My love is only your love (yes)
I'll be faithful (yes)
I'm for real (yes)

And with us you'll always know the deal
We've been...Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

See this is real talk
I'm always stay (no matter what)
Good or bad (thick and thin)
Right or wrong (all day everyday)
Now if you're down on love or don't believe
This ain't for you (no, this ain't for you)
And if you got it deep in your heart
And deep down you know that it's true (come on, come on, come on)

Well, let me see you put your hands up (hands up)
Fellas tell your lady she's the one (fellas tell your lady she's the one, oh)
Put your hands up (hands up)
Ladies let him know he's got your love

Look him right in his eyes and tell him
We've been...Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you

Only Hope
There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.

So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.
I'm giving you all of me.
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

CRY
I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended so soon

You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark grey sky
I was changed

In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
Was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

The moment i saw you cry
It was late in September
And I've seen you before
You were always the cold one
But I was never that sure

You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark grey sky
I was changed
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside

Was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
I wanted to hold you

I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything...alright

I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
In places no one will find
In places no one will find

All your feelings so deep inside
It was there that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

Baby...Cry!
The moment that i saw you cry
Oh no no I think I saw you cry
The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to know you
I wanted to know you
I wanted to know you

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Sunday, April 8, 2007
YOU JUST REALISED HOW MUCH YOU MEANT TO ME?
so maybe this past mths, you didnt realise?
im such a loser.
maybe im really not good enough for you.

i feel so empty.
i feel so cold.
yet. i love you dearly.

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Sunday, April 1, 2007
i so wanna thank deon for giving me a heart attack!
time stood still.
i was so lost at that moment of time.
it was an april's fool joke that i would remember.


my friend was even worst!
his gf msg him "hey! lets break up."
he just stood there.
he looked so troubled.
and in the end, it was a joke.
not funny lo!
he hate his gf that he loves her so much.


anyways, yesterday i went to benjamin shears' bridge
and scream my lungs out.
i still wonder why YOU dont want to answer my call at all.
im still in a lost.
it does make me wonder now.
and i remember the promise made.
"dont think too much".


anyways, readers! happy april's fool day!


my dear comm members,
i'll see you tmr!
12.30pm. (:
time for us to plan!!

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oh hello stranger
de-ni-al [di-nahy-uhl]
noun.
1. refusal to recognize or acknowledge
2. an assertion that something said or believed
3. sacrifice of one's own wants or needs; self-denial.
4. disclaimer
5. me.

need i say more
I love to party! =D
Im currently serving the nation.
and i hate people who "chao-keng"
either i fuck you or you fuck me.
either way, i'll benefit.
bye.

contact me @
email me / msn me : eight.february88@hotmail.com
social network me :
friendster.
facebook.

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