i skinned my knee.

time passed.

i've lost trust in myself and maybe people around me.

this bookout might be the most boring ever.

my parents are away till i POP.

im not ready for my 24km graduation route march.

all i could do is to think of the joy i would share with

my family and no one else.

god. i need to be blessed.

william had fever when he got to my hse yesterday.

didnt shower and i shoo-ed him to bed.

i had my breakfast (thanks to william because he made me wait for him)

which was macs.

it nvr tasted so good.

atleast one of my cravings is cleared.

william woke up at 2.45pm finally.

and i've prepared lunch.

he left soon after.

and my whole house is quiet.

i dont know where im heading to.

i just feel lost la.

some bastard must be laughing at me now.

i had my last laugh.

i never felt so fucked up.

funny on how my life worked.

how much i've changed.

how much i cant be bothered about things.

army really teaches you how to ADAPT.

19th December 2008 would be the day i know my new unit.

*prays hard.

i find that things might be fine on the outside, BUT

its different on the inside.

why cant i have what i want?

why god is unfair at times?

i wanna feel contented.

i wanna feel myself.

i feel fucking different now.

and it all started from that day.

fuck, i didnt manage to run my 6km today.

knocked out.

maybe, alcohol helps.